Fear of Other People’s Opinions can quietly influence how managers lead, decide and communicate. Understanding FOPO helps leaders stay grounded in judgement rather than external approval

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared in Monday 8am

You’ve heard of FOMO, but FOPO, Fear of Other People’s Opinions, is something many managers experience without always naming it. The term was coined by psychologist Michael Gervais.

In leadership and management roles, FOPO does not go away. In many cases, it becomes more noticeable. The higher you move and the more visible your decisions become, the more you may find yourself aware of how others are judging you. It is no surprise that many high performers quietly struggle with anxiety linked to other people’s opinions.

You cannot simply ignore FOPO or push through it. For managers, the more useful approach is to notice it and understand what’s underneath it. It can become a signal that helps you reflect more clearly on how you are leading.

Nurture Self-Awareness as a Manager

To reduce the pull of external validation, managers need a stronger sense of internal awareness. This is not about becoming detached, but about being grounded in who you are as a leader.

Self-awareness helps you recognise when decisions are being shaped by fear of judgement rather than sound judgement.

Appreciate Your Strengths in Practice

Once the initial pressure settles, it becomes important to refocus on your capability as a manager. This is not about ego, but about perspective.

Remind yourself:

• What you are good at in your role
• How you have prepared for key decisions
• The value your experience brings to your team

Self-confidence is one of the strongest ways to reduce FOPO in day-to-day management.

Craft A Clear Leadership Philosophy

For managers, having a defined sense of principles can reduce uncertainty when external opinions feel strong. Gervais suggests reflecting on questions such as:

• Who demonstrates qualities you respect as a leader?
• What beliefs guide you when you are at your best?
• What values consistently show up in your decisions?

From this, you can shape a simple statement of how you want to lead. This becomes a reference point when FOPO starts to influence thinking.

Dial Down the Stress Response

FOPO often appears as a physical stress reaction. In those moments, managers can benefit from simple grounding techniques.

Before presentations, meetings or difficult conversations, taking a few slow breaths can help signal to the body that there is no immediate threat. This allows you to regain a sense of control and clarity before responding.

Shift From Performance to Purpose

A performance-focused identity can make FOPO stronger, because it ties self-worth too closely to approval. For managers, this can limit decision-making over time.

A more effective shift is to focus on purpose. Instead of asking how you will be perceived, focus on what the situation requires and what outcome you are trying to achieve.

Hack Your Self-Story

The internal narrative you carry has a strong influence on FOPO. If your default thinking is negative, self-doubt becomes easier to trigger.

For managers, a practical step is to notice that narrative and actively challenge it. Reframe assumptions based on evidence of what you have already achieved. Build trust in your own judgement through small, deliberate actions and decisions. Over time, this strengthens self-belief.

Leading Without Being Driven by Approval

FOPO does not disappear when you become a manager. But it does not have to shape how you lead.

The aim is not to stop caring about opinions altogether, but to stop them from overriding your judgement. When managers learn to recognise FOPO and steady themselves in it, they lead with more clarity, confidence and consistency.