It’s often said that its lonely at the top. Many managers and leaders report feeling distanced from their teams, carrying the weight of responsibility without peers to lean on

This sense of isolation can creep in slowly, particularly if you don’t have colleagues in similar roles to share challenges with. While it’s true that leaders must maintain a degree of professional authority and distance from their teams, swinging too far in that direction can result in isolation rather than healthy autonomy. Over time, this not only takes a toll on your mental wellbeing but can also damage your reputation, making you appear aloof or disconnected in the eyes of your staff.

Revisiting the Psychological Contract

One way to reflect on your relationship with your team is through the lens of the psychological contract. Unlike a formal employment agreement, the psychological contract is the unwritten set of expectations, assumptions and obligations between managers and employees.

It’s about what staff feel they owe the organisation – such as effort, loyalty and flexibility – and what they believe they should receive in return, including fairness, respect, career support and recognition. If you are feeling distant from your team, it may be worth asking yourself: am I upholding my side of this contract? Re-examining this dynamic can highlight areas where your behaviour, communication, or leadership style may unintentionally be creating distance.

The Danger of Relying on “Go-To” People

It’s natural to gravitate towards reliable employees – those who always know how you like things done and can quickly pick up extra responsibilities. However, leaning too heavily on these “go-to” individuals carries risks. Other staff may begin to feel overlooked or undervalued, leading to disengagement. Worse still, it can create an impression of favouritism, undermining trust in your leadership. A healthier approach is to deliberately rotate opportunities across the team, ensuring everyone feels heard, seen and trusted to contribute.

Connecting with New and Younger Employees

Engaging with new or younger employees can be an excellent way to bridge generational or positional divides. For example, asking a digitally skilled team member to demonstrate how they create resources or manage technology not only highlights your willingness to learn but also empowers staff to share their strengths. This sends a clear message: leadership is not about having all the answers, but about creating space for others to shine.

Another way to break down walls is to invite constructive feedback from your team. Regularly asking questions like, “How can I make your role easier?” or “Is there anything you feel I could do differently as your manager?” creates a culture of openness. Importantly, acting on feedback (or at least explaining why certain changes can’t be made) shows that you take your team’s perspectives seriously.

Avoiding the Executive Bubble

Isolation can also come from spending too much time with other leaders or senior colleagues, which risks creating an “executive bubble.” While peer support is important, over-reliance on leadership circles can leave you detached from the day-to-day realities of your team. Striking a balance means dedicating regular time to being visible in shared spaces, listening to staff concerns firsthand and showing that you remain connected to their work environment.

Leadership doesn’t have to be lonely, but avoiding isolation requires conscious effort. The best leaders are those who find ways to remain approachable without losing authority. Ultimately, leadership is not about standing apart, but about standing with – guiding, listening and learning alongside the people you lead.