Narcissists and big egos can both derail a team – but knowing the difference between them is the key to protecting your workplace and managing conflict effectively

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared in All Business

We’ve all encountered them: the colleague who always has to be right, the boss who can’t take feedback, the teammate who turns every project into a one-person show. But before you label someone a narcissist, it’s worth understanding whether you’re actually dealing with narcissism – or just a big ego. While the two share similarities, their root causes, behaviours and impacts on the workplace are significantly different. Recognising the distinction is key to responding effectively and protecting your workplace culture.

Narcissism: Charm, Control, Chaos
Narcissism is more than arrogance. It’s a deeper psychological pattern marked by a need for constant praise, lack of empathy and manipulative tendencies. In the workplace, narcissists are the ones who take credit for others’ work, dodge accountability and twist feedback into personal attacks. They thrive on control and admiration, and their presence can leave teams demoralised and dysfunctional. The effects of a narcissistic leader often linger long after they’ve left.

Example: A narcissistic project manager might regularly take credit for the team’s ideas, publicly criticising teammates to make themselves look better. When performance reviews come around, they downplay others’ contributions and push themselves for bonuses or promotions they didn’t fully earn. When confronted with feedback, they lash out, accuse others of jealousy, or undermine their critics behind closed doors.

Big Egos: Loud but Not Always Lethal
On the flip side, people with big egos are usually confident – sometimes overly so. They talk more than they listen, struggle to admit when they’re wrong and often overestimate their abilities. Unlike narcissists, they’re not necessarily manipulative or harmful by design. They might frustrate you, but they usually aren’t trying to exploit others. Their impact is often confined to the immediate team, not the entire organisation.

Example: A team leader with a big ego might dominate meetings, shutting down quieter voices with lines like, “We’ve already tried that,” or “Trust me, I know what works.” When a project fails, they blame poor execution, not their own approach. However, when spoken to directly and constructively, they may acknowledge the issue and change, albeit grudgingly.

Empathy is the dividing line. Narcissists lack it; big egos usually just forget to use it. Most critically, narcissists can poison a workplace culture, whereas someone with a big ego might just need a reality check. This is where strong leadership needs to step in.

Managing the Disruption
Managing narcissism takes firm boundaries, clear ethics policies and a culture that prioritises collaboration over competition. It’s about minimising harm. When dealing with narcissism, prevention and containment are key. Clear ethics policies, team-based reward systems, and regular 360-degree feedback can help limit their influence.

Assign them roles with tight parameters and avoid giving them unchecked power. Big egos, on the other hand, respond better to coaching, honest feedback and a bit of humble pie. With the right approach, big egos can be redirected; narcissism often needs to be contained.

It’s tempting to call every difficult personality a narcissist, but that label should be used carefully and only when patterns of behaviour clearly match. Most often, what we’re dealing with is a big ego that just needs a bit of guidance.