How to achieve the elusive work-life balance

Striking the perfect work-life balance can often feel elusive and unattainable, but it doesn’t have to be with these six key pillars

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared on Happiful

Poor work-life balance can snatch life’s joyous moments away from us, and be detrimental to our mental health and wellbeing. But levelling it out isn’t usually straightforward. Dr Kirstie Fleetwood Meade has identified six key pillars of work-life balance on which to lay your new foundation.

Your ‘why’

It’s pretty impossible to set off on any journey if you don’t know where you’re heading, which is why working out what you’re seeking should be your first step.

“Spend some time visualising what an ‘ideal’ work-life balance would look like to you, Meade says. “If it currently feels like it’s a three out of 10 in terms of how aligned you are with this ideal, how could you nudge it up to a four? Focusing on the little steps can make this seem more achievable.

“Next, ask yourself why it’s important to you. The clearer you are in your ‘why’, the easier it will be to say ‘yes’ to the things that lead you closer to it and ‘no’ to the things that don’t.”

Your values and priorities

Once you’ve explored your ‘why’, Meade recommends shifting your focus to your key values. These are the beliefs that help guide us to live a life that is meaningful to us, she explains.

“Being crystal clear on your values makes decision-making around work-life balance easier,” she continues. “Some example values are: adventure, curiosity, power, fitness, freedom, fun, compassion, self-development, connection, love, equality – but there are many, many more.”

What role do your values currently play in your life, and what would a better work-life balance do for your values.

 Your barriers or derailers

“Changing habits, making decisions, and saying no can all be emotionally draining,” Meade says. “Which makes it all the more important to be able to pre-empt your likely ‘derailers’.

Spend some time thinking about what exactly these might be for you, and consider how you can address them, plan for them, and get support with them.

 Your worth and your infallibility

“It’s so important to look after ourselves just as well as we look after others,” Meade says. “In my therapy work, I’m a big fan of the idea of the ‘both/and’ – the idea that two things that may seem opposing can actually be true at the same time e.g. You are doing your best at work and the world won’t fall apart if you don’t check your emails in the evening.

‘No’

“Try challenging your perspective on the word ‘no’,” Meade suggests. “We often grow up with stories around being likeable, helpful, and kind, and saying no can make us feel like we’re not these things. But it is possible to say no and still be a kind person.”

She suggests having some helpful phrases ready. For example, offer an alternative: ‘I’ve got too much on my plate right now, but I can get back to you in X days/weeks.’ You can also try being polite but firm: ‘Thank you for your offer, but I am already committed to something else’.

Your gut feeling

“Lastly, an embodiment practice (awareness of what is happening in your body and mind) can be very helpful for guiding your work-life balance,” Meade says. “Think of situations where you definitely knew you wanted, or didn’t want, to do something – do you know what a full body ‘yes’ feels like, and, a full body ‘no’?

You may need to spend time tuning-in to these sensations, especially if you’re used to pushing past them. But, it’s worth it when our bodies could hold the key to our true feelings.