Supporting those struggling with hoarding 

Living with hoarding problems can be difficult. Here are some suggestions to help you support colleagues you think may be struggling 

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared on Mind

You may feel very worried if you think someone you care about is hoarding, and it might feel difficult to know how to talk to them about it, especially if they don’t actually agree that they are hoarding. You might have already tried to offer support, but the person you’re worried about is maybe unwilling to accept help – this can feel really difficult, worrying or frustrating, but there are, in fact, lots of helpful things you can try.

If you are supporting someone who is hoarding, whether they agree or not, you should try to keep these important points in mind:

• Use respectful language: don’t refer to their possessions as ‘junk’ or ‘rubbish’ – this shows that you don’t understand their connection to the objects or why they want to keep them and they will be less likely to open up to you if you talk about their things this way.
• Don’t focus on a total clean-up: while some people who hoard might be able completely clear their space, this isn’t the case for everyone. The wellbeing focus should be the safety and wellbeing of your loved one, which can be achieved without completely clearing everything. This is sometimes called a ‘harm reduction strategy’. 
• Listen to what they want: ask the person what they think will be helpful; this gives them more control over the situation and shows you care about what they want. For example, they might want you to sit with them while they clean, or for you to help take things to charity shops.
• Think carefully about gifts: it may be unhelpful to give them new items. If you want to give a gift, try thinking of alternatives, like going for a meal or a day out. Try to be understanding if they get rid of something you’ve given them; even if this feels hurtful to you, it might be part of their progress.
• Don’t pressure them to let you into their space: they might feel anxious about visitors, so it’s important not to take it personally if they don’t invite you in. If you’d like to spend time together it might help to consider other places you could meet instead.
• Let them know you are there: one of the most important things you can do is let the person you’re worried about know that you care. Make sure they know that you can help them find support when they’re ready.