Turn your anger into empowerment 

Anger can indicate that something in our lives need to change – here are five ways to turn your anger into empowerment 

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared on Happiful

When expressed healthily, anger can be an empowering and protective force which improves confidence, self-esteem and personal agency. When we allow ourselves to feel anger, and express it appropriately, we are communicating that our boundaries deserve to be respected and this is empowering and becomes strong evidence that we can meet our own needs and protect ourselves. 

Over time, this will translate into increased confidence and a sense of self-worth. Anger is a signal from the body that we need to act on something to achieve justice – when we consider anger this way, it becomes an important part of our individual empowerment.

Five ways to turn anger into empowerment

Own your anger

Expressing anger is all about ownership. Anger is your feeling in response to something that has happened. When we project it externally, and make blaming statements such as, ‘You made me feel…’, we create a defences that rarely helps us solve our problem. Try using ‘I’ statements to communicate your feelings, followed by what you would like to happen, e.g. ‘I felt angry when you overlooked my contributions in the meeting last week, and I would like to discuss my suggestions on this project.’

Release anger physically

Anger produces highly physical charges within the body, which are often felt in the arms and chest – a sign that the ‘fight’ part of the nervous system’s ‘fight-or-flight’ response has been activated. This is why ‘calming down’ is often unhelpful in releasing anger. Expressing anger through movements involving the upper body is a great way to discharge this pent-up energy. Book a boxing class at your gym, throw tree branches around in a woodland, or even take a red felt-tip pen and scribble swear words into a notebook!

Don’t minimise anger

Often we minimise our anger by saying things like ‘I’m not angry, I’m just annoyed.’ If we think of anger as a scale ranging from slight irritation to full-blown rage, then frustration, annoyance and agitation are all derivatives of anger. It’s OK to allow yourself to recognise anger for what it is, and not to minimise your experience by giving it a softer label.

Investigate the cause of your anger

Try reflecting on events surrounding your anger to better understand your triggers. For example, if you felt incensed when a car cut you up on the motorway, question what evoked your rage? It might be feeling like someone else has put you in danger, or that the world is not safe for you, suggesting that fear lies beneath your anger.

Consider therapy

Connecting with anger might be difficult if you grew up in an unsafe environment, perhaps featuring domestic abuse or a parent with an addiction. A counsellor can allow you to safely explore your relationship with anger and how to respond appropriately, unlocking a greater connection with yourself and others.