How to manage conflict in social situations 

Social situations can sometimes conjure up feelings of fear and anxiety, but these feelings can be managed 

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared on Happiful

Whether it’s a meeting at work, or a family dynamic that conjures up concern, here are five effective ways to help you proactively manage tough conversations and situations.

Assume the best

It’s easy to talk ourselves into expecting the worst, even when we have no evidence that things will play out as we imagine. However, by catastrophising, and anticipating conflict, we’re tricking our minds and bodies into reacting to danger. Try to intercept anticipatory negative thoughts as they enter your mind by asking yourself, ‘Do I know this to be true?’ If the answer is ‘No’, ask yourself how you would like the conversation or event to play out instead.

Set intentions

You can’t manage how other people will communicate or react, but you can present yourself in a way that you are proud of. Try writing down how you will behave and communicate because this will help you set positive intentions which will help you manage your interactions. Read through your intentions again before your meet-up, so they’re fresh in your mind.

Put in a pause

During the encounter itself, if you believe the situation is going south, putting a pause in the middle of proceedings can really help. While you’re away from the discussion, slow your breathing down, making each exhale longer than the inhale – and remember the intentions you’ve set for yourself. When you re-enter the discussion, thank the person for waiting for you – hopefully, tension will have dissipated and tempers will have calmed.

Stay grounded

If verbal conflict should arise, physically ground yourself by placing both feet flat on the floor and keeping your breathing steady; avoid interrupting the other person, and take a breath before you speak. If you believe that the situation cannot be rectified at that moment, say so; be clear about how you wish to be treated, and proceed. 

Know that you’re safe

Conflict, or even the anticipation of conflict, can make us feel shaky and off-centre. Take some time to decompress after your interaction. If you can, take a walk outdoors and use a grounding method – for example, focus on five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Take some time to meditate, or use an online breathwork session to calm your overall state.